Hey! I'm Kim and here's my story...
I've been on a journey to find emotional and physical freedom from age 18. Gathering information about all things natural, and alternative healing fascinated me. I was blessed with a photographic memory, with carmen san diego like ability to recall information. Helping others with their physical issues, became my primary purpose. Without realizing it.. I was the frog in the pot of warm water....the water getting hotter and hotter.
How fast we can become lost and disillusioned to our true purpose and authentic self...
Desperate to prove my worth, I attended training after training. I studied:
- Massage Therapy
- Colon Hydro Therapy
- Rolfing Structural Integration with Ida Rolf Institute
- doTERRA Essential Oil trainings
- Access Consciousness
-Singing Bowl Meditation
- Yamuna Body Rolling
- Watsu- Water Release Therapy
Using my new tools to build myself a pedestal. I would be the best of the best kind of healer I could be. I would use my knowledge to draw people to me. Yes, many people benefited from the knowledge I shared. Many people found relief - but I was using my own energy, my life force was draining. I was not connecting to a higher source of energy, my higher power, to channel healing. The burn out began.
The pressure I put on myself of course was too much. I wanted to please everyone, I had no personal or professional boundaries. How could I help everyone, and still have a life, with time for my family relationships, and my own healing?
The long and short of it.. my way of coping with my control issues (controlling others opinions of me by giving all my time and knowledge so they would like me) became alcohol. I went from a social drinker, to an every weekend drinker, to an anytime I need to shut off my brain drinker, to I have to drink because I'm in so much physical pain drinker.
Some of us need to learn things by experiencing it... "the hard way"
My pattern was a bit manic/depressive. I would work non stop for 4-6 weeks at a time, without drinking and Accomplish amazing things in my business. Then, because I had no boundaries in my life, I would crash, and the only way I knew how to quiet my thoughts was to drink. I could feel other peoples feelings. I didn't know that it was called being an "empath". That term came out later, when it became more widely known. So, I would be surrounded by other peoples feelings when I would open my home 2-3x a week teaching classes. I had no idea that the overwhelming feelings I had were not really even mine, I had just allowed them in. Part of my healing process, was figuring out my limits on how long I can be around other people and how to detach myself with love. Not taking responsibility for other peoples problems and physical issues. What a concept?! You mean I can hang out with people, still care about them, and not take on their problems? wow.
In 2018, I was injured during a training. Simultaneously, my marriage was falling apart. Since I was hurt, that meant I couldn't "help" anyone besides myself. I had to identify my feelings, untangle the mess in my head that was keeping me in pain and my relationships broken.
I figured out that my physical pain was being caused the build up of emotional baggage in my body.
I have been blessed with the challenges in my life. I am grateful for the lessons I learned, for real!
Without everything I did, and learned, I wouldn’t be here now.
And hey, since I will be a recovering codependent and alcoholic for life, I get to justify going to meetings for the rest of my life!! Free therapy for life.
“Normal” people so rarely ask for help, let alone justify long term emotional support. My goodness, I am a blessed woman. I can’t wait to share my tools with you! Acknowledging your buried feelings, feelings the feelings, and moving them out of your body and consciousness using plant medicines, breathing, dancing and movement. We can live free of old, stuck emotions, and patterns- one day at a time.
I joined an online 12 step program, and started sharing my feelings out loud. This is where the magic begins. Finding the real me under all the trauma.